Saturday, February 10, 2007

Why I hate lactation specialists and other tales from my hospital stay




So we are now a family of 4. I've been enjoying having my Mom stay with us for the past week. She is a true worker bee and has been a great help in every way. I'm sad to see her go today. Hopefully I'll manage.

So I thought I would share some of musings on my hospital stay. Shortly before Julia was born my good friend Anne came to visit from Oregon. Anne is an RN who has worked in various hospitals in 4 states over the past 10 years. I told her that the hospital where I was going to have Julia was kind of old and was currently undergoing construction for a beautiful new maternity wing. Unfortunately for me the wing wouldn't be done for 6 more months. This meant that I might possibly have to share a room with another patient as well as sharing a shower with several patients. Yes you read that right, the hospital currently has two shower rooms in the maternity ward where all the women on the ward have to shower. When I told Anne about this she about died and informed me that never in her years of working as a nurse had she heard of something so horrible as sharing a shower with the whole floor. Moral of the story is -I should have waited to have this baby until this summer in the new wing.
Story #2 Hospital Food. As we all know, hospital food is really horrible. They did however provide me with a menu where I could choose between several "delicious" entrees for each meal. The pathetic part was that out of the 4 meals I "ordered", 3 of them contained NONE of the items I had ordered. And then they had to nerve to give me a questionnaire in which I was supposed to rate their food service. My favorite question was "would you recommend our food to other people?" What kind of question is that? Am I supposed to invite a few friends out to dinner at the hospital cafeteria? Or if a friend is feeling sick am I supposed to recommend that particular hospital because of the food? hmmmmmmmmm........
And finally, my favorite moment-Lactation Nazi Nurse. For me, nursing is a very painful experience the first few weeks. It just is. After that everything gets better and I really enjoy it but at first I really hate it. There is nothing more frustrating than having a visit from the all knowing Lactation Nurse who informed me on several occasions that there was no way I was doing it right because if I was I wouldn't be experiencing any pain. hmmmm...you try having a super sucking device on your nipples for extended periods throughout the day and then you can tell me if it is comfortable at first. When I tried to explain to her that I had nursed Blake for 1 year and had enjoyed it except for the first painful 3 weeks until my breasts accustomed to it she informed me that I must have been doing it wrong and that he had finally figured out how to nurse correctly and that is why it stopped hurting. I was really this close to punching her. But wait, then she spotted the Lanolin on my hospital tray and proceeded to tell me how bad it was to use it because it would take away the smell of my mammary glands and Julia wouldn't know where to root. I thought she was going to take it and throw it away but she just gave it a menacing scowl and walked away.
Needless to say I'm glad I didn't have a C-section where I would have had to stay even longer.
But look what I got at the hospital. I just love her so much I can't stand it.

7 comments:

pepper said...

I am glad you are home now and enjoying your little girl. We will have to share stories some day about using dorm style bathrooms in the Maternity ward. I delivered Nels in Japan where I had a shower curfew.

Emily said...

I love that line: "If it hurts, you're not doing it right." Whatever!

Julia is adorable. Why is it that I can't help but pronounce her name ZHU-lia?

Suzie Petunia said...

Ooooh, it bothers me to no end that the lactation "specialist" was so mean. That's the last thing a new mom needs! I agree: it just hurts the first couple weeks. End of story. I wonder when SHE last nursed a baby. If ever. My midwife prescribes for me an ointment concoction that that is just like Lansinoh, except it also contains an anti-fungal, a steroid, and an antibiotic. It is like magic. It heals all wounds.

Becky M said...

Julia is so cute. I can hardly wait to meet her!

I think nursing horror stories are a great topic for the next play group you come to! I could go on and on about the trials of nursing Camille in the beginning. My lactation specialist gave me lansinol, so it is funny how they are so different. The nurses also gave me some wonder gel pads that helped immensely with Camille - even though I still hurt for a month.

Sorry to hear about the food. I don't know why hospitals always think they've got the greatest food around. - it's not as if they eat it every day! I have heard that Los Robles food is pretty good though. I'll let you know in a few months!

Melissa C. said...

Julia is such a cutie! I can totally relate to your hospital horror stories. The nurses when I had Emma were the worst. They kept treating me like I didn't know anything. I tried to get the point across to them that she is my THIRD child, so I obviously must know a thing or two, but I don't think they bought it. The funny thing is, with both Noah and Emma I was all geared up for a lecture when I told them that I was not going to nurse at all, but I didn't get one about that. It's pretty lame that they make the moms who are trying to nurse feel bad, but they didn't even say anything to me about not nursing. They must not have thought I was worth the trouble. :) Anyway, I'm glad you're home and away from the bossy hospital staff. It's so much better to be at home with your sweet little baby.

rebecca said...

Amy, you forgot to mention your lactation specialist was wearing COW earrings. Yes, we get it. She's the milk "expert".

And like everyone else said - Sorry, it just hurts. I don't know why LC's always say it doesn't. Really? Come on. There's a small person attached to sensitive body parts for the better part of the day and night. It's going to hurt for awhile.

She's so pretty Amy! Congrats.

lys said...

Oh, that is so painful about the cow earrings.