Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Gender ender?

I consider myself a pragmatist.  I like formulas.  I loved calculus in high school because integrating and differentiating are really simple proccesses once the concept clicks.   I like examining all aspects of a question to find the best possible solution.  When making big decisions (hmmmm this tends to take a while for me) i try to explore the long term consequences and implications of different options to help guide my choice.

Now let's examine what has been in the news this past month.  There has been much discussion regarding Sheryl Sandberg's new book Lean In.  I can't even count the number of articles I have read both extolling and villifying her book.  One such article encouraged women to "lean out " of family/home responsibilities, to not feel guilty about missing milestones in children's life due to work because they aren't really that big of a deal afterall.  And of course people can rarely discuss Sheryl without also discussing Marissa Meyer of Yahoo who famously or infamously depending on how you see things only took off 2 weeks for maternity leave after having a baby.  She then also said of her 6 month forray into motherhood that it wasn't as hard as everyone said it would be.

And of course one cannot open their facebook page or turn on the radio without being assailed with all kinds of opinions about the supreme court's hearing of california's proposition 8 and the federal Defens of Marriage Act.

And so I have thought and thought and thought about these issues.  I have examined both sides of the coin and tried to see the legitimate arguments of each side.    My purpose is not to emotionally argue any side.  Too often we appeal to strong emotions when arguing a point.  However, strong  emotions can interefere with reason and rationality.  Like i initially stated I like to be pragmatic when approaching things so I have to ask myself what the long term consequences are of encouraging women to lean into work, take shortened maternity leaves because it really isn't that big of a deal to be a mother, and then the other issue of the long term implication of changing the definition of marriage to include same sex unions.  I believe that these two seemingly non related topics actually have the same long term implications.   The implication of both is that gender should be a non-issue.  Gender doesn't really matter.  Women should not feel compelled because of their inherent gender towards family life.  Marriage should be a genderless institution made up of two consenting adults who love each other.  In the grand scheme of things is this really about working women or same sex marriage or is the real question whether or not to value gender?   Would it be better to live in a world where gender is not our defining characteristic?  Should gender matter?  Is this what we want, a genderless society?  Because if we are honest with ourselves this is the real issue here.
If indeed we as a society want this then my "modest proposal" is that we end gender.  Each time a baby is born we send them to a place to have their inherent gender removed. We take away all genitalia.  We refer to no one by he or she.  When these babies grow up and decide to have children they may choose one specially designed at a laboratory.
Now i realize my modest proposal is ridiculous but in my mind so is the idea of living without gender.  I believe that gender matters.  And because I believe that gender matters I support the concept of marriage as it has been defined since the beginning of time, mainly the union of a man and a woman.  There is no way around the science that a baby is conceived from the sperm of a man and an egg from a woman.  Every child has a right to have both of those parents in his/her life.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

She Eats

Little Miss Elise is 6 months old.  I finally broke down and started feeding her rice cereal and bananas.  Oh the messiness that is a baby learning how to eat.  She loves to eat.  The big kids now fight to sit next to her highchair at dinner.  And the best part about feeding her solids at lunchtime is that she is now sleeping for 3 hours in the afternoon. 
Oh how I love this little one.  If only she could stay a baby forever. 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Summer is here!!!!  It's time for lots of swimming, playing, sleeping in, and snuggling our cute little Bunny. 

I love "june gloom"  The days start out kind of foggy and then by the afternoon it is nice and sunny and warm, not HOT.  I hate the heat.  Good thing it doesn't usually get over about 85 degrees in these parts.  I love eating dinner outdoors on long summer days.  Here, Mike is enjoying raspberry/peach cobbler for dinner, something I do every summer a few times.  Who doesn't want
dessert for dinner

Julia had her first dance recital a few weeks ago.  She is the "monkey" in the middle. 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

pictures pictures pictures

Elise Jewell Adams
March 30, 2012
10 lbs 1 oz
21 inches

A big thank you to my friend Jen of Big Red Barn Photography for giving me the gift of newborn pictures of Elise.  I am absolutely in love with Elise and am so happy to have these pictues.  There really is nothing comparable to holding a sweet little baby in my arms and knowing that she is mine.

Monday, April 23, 2012


I feel so very blessed.
A few days ago my first "baby" turned 7. 
Tomorrow my third "baby" turns 3.
And my littlest baby is now 3 weeks old. 
How did I get so lucky?

I am overcome with gratitude for these 4 little people in my life and for a very wonderful and kind husband and for amazing friends.  I can not even express the gratitude I feel for the service that has been rendered to our family these past few weeks.  We have had dinners brought in, treats and bread delivered to us, many visits, lots of playdates for the kids, kind phone calls, carpools driven, professional photographs given, and the list could go on and on. My friend Rebecca even surprised me before Elise was born by watching my kids for a whole day so Mike and I could spend time together.  I have been able to take naps and snuggle with my sweet little Elise while my children have played happily at friends' homes.  What a treat it has been for me to spend so much quality time with my new baby.   My good friend Becky even made and decorated the cakes for Blake and Cole's birthdays. (see pictures below-aren't they awesome)  I have to say that I have the most wonderful group of friends EVER.  So thank you all my friends from the bottom of my heart for making this transition from 3-4 kids so wonderful.  I am truly humbled by your service to me and my family.  I hope you all know how much I appreciate your thoughtful and kind acts of service. 
The end!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Welcome Elise Jewell

Our sweet new baby girl , Elise Jewell, was born on march 30. I had asked my doctor to induce me a week early to try and avoid a big baby, but alas she only consented to inducing me three days before my due date. Thank goodness we didn't wait for Elise to come on her own because she weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs 1oz. At this point in the game I shouldn't be surprised but I thought for sure she would be smaller since she was a girl. I do not build small babies, and I have no idea why because no one else in my family births toddlers.

Anyway, it's strange to be a family of six now. We all are enamored with this sweet little girl. We are also surprised at the amount of hair she has. She has a full head of brown hair. I am so used to bald babies.

I am grateful to my mom who was able to come out and stay with us for over a week. I always cry when she leaves because I wonder how I can possibly do it on my own. Funny to think about life when I just had Blake. I am also grateful for Mike's accounting firm that gave him two weeks of paid paternity leave. The kids have been so excited to have daddy home. And of course I have been so appreciative of his presence. What a wonderful daddy he is.

About her name, Elise is just a name we liked and she is named Jewell after Mike's wonderful Grandmother Jewell. All of our children have family names for middle names and I think this gives them a link to their wonderful heritage.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Nesting Projects

There's nothing like being 9 months pregnant to getting a LOT of projects done. I am in full nesting frenzy. My kind mother was nice enough to come spend a few days with us to help with some of these projects.

We sanded, primed and painted a dresser. I have to say that using a power sander was awesome.

We purchased fabric and made curtains for the girls' room which I really love. We washed tons of baby clothes and blankets. And last but not least we purchased an awesome bedroom set off of Craigslist. Love Craigslist.

And of course no project would be complete without a little "undoing" by the little people. 5 seconds before our dinner guests arrived tonight, Mike found Julia's blinds in this state. Apparently she thought it would be a good idea to cut the strings holding the slats in her blinds.
I guess I should count my blessings that she didn't cut her new curtains or bedspread or take a Sharpie to her new bedroom furniture, but really............. Too bad she only has 30 cents in her piggy bank to help pay for the damage. Oh kids.